refocusing

somehow, just somehow, these few months since june, had really been a roller coaster ride for me. hadn't expected half of it. i guess mayb i had my life in such perfect organization that somehow, God hadda just throw a bag of marbles on da floor and watch me balance myself. so far, i fell and got up balancing again till i reached the end of the marble filled floor...it really wasn't an easy task....going through evryday, trying to iron out the wrinkles in my so called "organized" life....God really hadda teach me to trust Him and rely on Him to organize evrything for me. it took me a couple of months to go through "marble field" and come to terms with myself and allow Him to do the organizing.

now, though it seems quite smooth sailing, i still get bricks thrown towards me, to wake me up from just going through life blurly....man...talk about rough training....haha. well, i do whine and groan and complain as this really is tough....but, can really see tat He is really digging out all the nonsense i have in my life and smoothening out all the rough areas....i'm happy that He's dealing with me, however, at the same time i'm too scared of all the unknown....what will happen in the future? i'll b finishing my semester soon...what will i do for hols? i'll b doing practical next year...which school? will i teach well? will the students like me? will i grad by august or dec? after grad where would i work? when i'm working, who will i meet? and on and on and on.... so, do or die, i gotta submit to Him and His will....and He really does hv His way of drawing my focus back towards Him.....making me go back to my knees and literally crying.

so yeap, just got hit by a brick or two not so long ago....time to refocus again.... :)